You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.

You are exactly my brand of heroin.

Edward Cullen


October 22nd, 2009

141 - "I think I have courage to die, but not to die thus in small sick ways."

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He watched her sleep, tossing and turning, saying his name.

He watched her walk around school with her human friends, stealing looks at him every now and then.

He watched the way that the leech, Jacob Black, would stare at her in obvious longing when clearly, Bella Swan belonged to him.

It ached at Edward, a little each day, that she was so fragile, so human, yet longing to leave that life forever. Every kiss tore at his restraint, the scent of her causing visions of killing Bella in various fashions to fill his head until he couldn't think straight. He was the worst sort of predator, because she loved him and put full trust into him.

He finally couldn't stand it any longer after Jasper attacked her. A simple birthday party, and yet every vampire in his family had to leave the room save for Carlisle. For a finger cut. That was when Edward knew that he would leave her.

He'd always known what was best for Bella, anyway.

Once he was gone, though, it was far, far worse. He never changed his clothing -- it ended up quite torn and tattered while he hunted for Victoria to occupy his mind. His hair was disheveled. For someone already dead, he looked like death itself, finally.

Until he was told of Bella's death.

He was going to die, perhaps not to join her in Heaven, but at least death would be preferable to the way he was living at the moment. The Volturri were of no help when he offered himself to them, so Edward decided to walk into the sun. Then, they would have to kill him.

Oh, he wanted to die, but since Carlisle knew of no way to properly kill oneself, Edward was at a loss as to how to die, except to have others do the dirty work for him. Selfish and perhaps slightly cowardly to let another kill you, he thought, but at least he had the courage to die in a world without Bella Swan.

Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga

April 27th, 2009

The Gift

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Title: "The Gift" (a birthday ficlet for [info]darkerthanlight)
Pairing: Edward/Lauren
Setting: During TS, following that storyline.
Plot: Edward has a surprise for Lauren.
Rating: Possibly NC-17?

Close Your Eyes... )

February 25th, 2009


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(This would be for [info]trappedsouls Edward, since he is developed the most)

01.) Full name? - Edward Anthony Masen, AKA Edward Cullen these days.
02.) Best friend? - Emmett Cullen, who he always calls his "favorite" brother.
03.) Sexuality? - Heterosexual -- of course, he has only been attracted to one female ever, and is still a virgin.
04.) Favorite color? - Blue.
05.) Relationship status? - In a committed relationship with Lauren Santini, a vampire slayer.
06.) Ideal mate? - Probably Lauren, actually, because even though she is human, she has powers and strength so Edward doesn't always have to worry about her being "breakable". Plus, she stands up to him a lot.
07.) Turn-ons? - Being in charge.
08.) Last sexual experience? - Still a virgin, sadly. Lots of heavy petting with Lauren, though.
09.) Favorite food? - Cougars. Really fast ones.
10.) Crushes? - That would still be Lauren, but don't you dare tell him it's a crush. He'll snap your neck.
11.) Favorite music? - He has eclectic tastes in music, ranging from classical to rock to alternative. It all depends on his mood, but his collection of CDs is pretty amazing.
12.) Biggest fear? - That he will die alone, and won't go to Heaven because he has no eternal soul.
13.) Biggest fantasy? - Right now? Finally having sex with Lauren and getting married to her, too. Maybe not in that order, either, because he's pretty old-fashioned.
14.) Quirks in bed? - He doesn't sleep, and he's still a virgin... so none.
15.) Bad habits? - Telling everyone in his family what they can or can't do. Telling Lauren what to do with her life. Stalking Lauren, being manipulative to her and overprotective to the point of obsessiveness. Thinking that he's better or smarter than everyone else, or that he is always right.
16.) Biggest regret? - Disappointing Nessie, because her love for him is obvious and he doesn't know her at all. He knows and understands that she really is his daughter, but he doesn't know how to be a father to her. He also feels guilty that he has Lauren with him while Emmett is alone, missing Rosalie.
17.) Best kept secrets? - Sometimes he likes to listen in on his family's thoughts, even though he tells everyone he doesn't.
18.) Last thought? - "This is what Carlisle would want us to do."
19.) Worst sexual experience? - Still none. *L*
20.) Biggest insecurity? - That he will never live up to the expectations that he thinks Carlisle has placed on him of being this "perfect" son.

January 26th, 2009

Ten Ways to kill Lauren Santini

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1. Break her neck quickly, and give her a merciful death.
2. Take one of the unused kitchen knives at home and slit her throat, spilling that sweet blood for me.
3. Lure her into the forest and slam her body up against a nearby tree.
4. Kill everyone around her first, so I might savor the fear before satiating the thirst.
5. Smother her so she cannot scream, and then watch her slowly asphyxiate.
6. Play the part of a lover and romance her, then when it comes time to kiss her I can let my venom pump into her body instead.
7. Drink from her immediately and be done with it all.
8. Punch her back after she has hit me, letting her feel the full power of a being made practically of stone.
9. Kiss her entire body until she is completely covered with crescent-shapes, all filling her blood with venom.
10. Introduce her to my family.

Edward Cullen

December 27th, 2008

Make a cast list of who would play who in a movie version of your life

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1. Robert Pattinson as myself, although I've heard rumors that he recently cut his hair.
2. Peter Facinelli as Carlisle, my father.
3. Ashley Greene as Alice.
4. Natalie Dormer as Rosalie. She has the look of someone who acts the "bitch" down perfectly.
5. Kellan Lutz as Emmett.
6. Jackson Rathbone as Jasper.
7. Sophia Bush as Lauren.
8. Rachel Bilson as my daughter, Renesmee.
9. Steven Straight as Jacob Black.
10. I've no idea who should play Renesmee's mother, Bella. Perhaps the part can be cut from the film.

Edward Cullen
Meta, oh so meta it hurts

December 8th, 2008

One of Us

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If you were faced with Him
In all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

I would ask why.

Isn't that really the most important question of them all? Not how was the world created, not the purpose of life, no... those are all things that mortals and monsters alike can decide for themselves. I would wish to know why must I be like this? If God loves all of His creatures equally, then why did He create vampires?

Would the answer be that He did not? Impossible, for the almighty created everything. This I believe with complete certainty. My many years have allowed me studies and yes, Darwinism is part of my belief system, but I am a man who believes in God.

I'd like to think I was always like that, before Carlisle, but I know this not to be true. Carlisle Cullen has to be the most compassionate man I've known, and he is convinced that we will make it to Heaven. That God, in His Love and Wisdom, will somehow forgive us of our sins. This is where I disagree with my father, though.

You see, if I were to agree with him and believe that I was not damned, then my question to God would be, "Why would you bother to create such monsters like myself?" If I turned it around, though, and used my own beliefs, my question would be "Why would you allow monsters into Heaven?" Either way, the question remains inherently the same -- why.

Evil should not be allowed to see the Face of God. Evil should not be pardoned so easily. I might be a man who has lived a long life and now feeds off the blood of only animals, but I am still one who has killed humans in the past. Have I truly suffered enough for my crimes? Have I paid the price? I consoled myself with the fact that only murderers or rapists were killed by my hand once, but how can I sit and pass judgment on the worth of their lives? Only God can.

So tell me, then.


Edward Cullen
The Twilight Saga

October 16th, 2008

Ten Rules You've Broken

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1. Apparently, an alternate version of myself changed Bella Swan into a vampire, something which breaks the long-standing treaty. I still do not understand how I could have been so blind.
2. I kissed a human girl.
3. That same human girl knows of the existence of vampires, and I did not try to convince her otherwise as I should have.
4. I broke one of Carlisle's rules when I left home and killed humans for survival. It did not matter that in my mind, they were "bad"; I killed them nonetheless.
5. I left Lauren Santini alone and unprotected after I had vowed I would keep her safe.
6. I begged God to assist me even though I am undeserving of His help and should not have been aided whatsoever.
7. I am recognizing a daughter that I know does not exist.
8. That same daughter, a child of mine and of Bella Swan's, will show me a world in which Jacob Black is a brother of mine; something which neither of us can accept.
9. I lied about my feelings to Lauren Santini and to myself.
10. I drive past the normal speed limit as much as possible.

Edward Cullen
Spin off from [info]undertherainbow/[info]thedarkcity

October 10th, 2008

Intro to [info]trappedsouls

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It was really getting rather ridiculous.

Just as he was used to one life that was quite different from the one he'd known and loved, Edward was swept away once more to face the future alone. How telling that it always appeared to be alone, though. Was there a cosmic force out there who did not wish for his happiness? Or perhaps he'd been correct all along; perhaps he was not meant for love. God, in all of His wisdom, had seen that vampires -- soul or not -- did not belong in His Kingdom.

Of course, there was also the theory that Edward had simply made a great tactical error in trusting the being with immense power and magick, which had resulted in him losing his head. Literally.

The saddest part, though, was that again he was without Lauren Santini, the woman who was a killer of vampires and yet somehow managed to find a place in her heart for a being such as himself. It was also the most tragic love story he'd ever thought of, if it was indeed, a love story. Anything that ended with the pair of doomed lovers both dead without ever having been able to actually, physically seal their love for one another seemed like a contradiction of sorts.

Then again, one could say that Edward wasn't "in love", per se, but "obsessed" with Lauren Santini.

If one dared to speak that aloud to him, though, that poor soul most likely would not last long.

Still, he was no longer with her, no longer with his family, and again in a world which to him was worse than Hell itself. A world with no meaning in it.

I cannot live without my love. I cannot die without my soul.

Never before had he quoted Wuthering Heights to himself and actually sympathized with Heathcliffe's plight.

September 22nd, 2008

Ten Hardest Things You've Ever Had to Do

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1. Lose my family when I was pulled through a vortex.
2. Lose them again when I woke up elsewhere, only after I had found most of them.
3. Say goodbye to Carlisle when I was younger, thinking that I knew better and could find a different, easier way to live than the one he'd chosen for our family.
4. Learn how to tune out everyone's thoughts so that I could get some semblance of peace and quiet.
5. Control the desire to do more to Lauren than simply touch her skin or kiss her.
6. Tell Tanya that I was not interested in her romantically and would most likely never be.
7. Tell Rosalie that I was not interested in her romantically and would most likely never be.
8. Tell the vampire Bella that we were not married as she claimed, and then reconcile with myself that there was some version of me who was foolish enough to change a mortal woman.
9. Leave Lauren alone while I tended to the supposed "divorce", only to discover that she could have possibly died without me there.
10. Speak to Jacob Black.

Edward Cullen

August 31st, 2008


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Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

I'm unsure why I'm praying or writing to You. Perhaps it is simply part of Carlisle's teachings, or his consistent hope that when we die, You will allow us into heaven. I've often thought on it the many times that I looked at the cross that my father would have hanging in our home, no matter where we lived -- Alaska, Washington, anywhere. That cross traveled with us and so did that hope that perhaps we were better creatures than what we thought.

So perhaps, although my soul is damned, I am still hopeful after all.

Whatever the case may be, I ask You to watch over my family -- wherever they're at. And most importantly, I beg, beg of You to keep me strong. I know that I am not deserving of Your Love, but I believe that I am deserving of keeping what little humanity I have left within me.

Please help me.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

August 16th, 2008


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The mun has finally finished reading Breaking Dawn and can now discuss it with everyone else. *L* However, if any canon from that book comes into play somehow into any prompt replies, spoilers will be marked accordingly for at least another month, just in case.

August 9th, 2008

Talking with Rosalie

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[info]the_deathofme: So when's the wedding, Rosalie?
[info]iceblonde: Week? Two?
[info]the_deathofme: That fast? How are we supposed to get ready in time? I am going to be Best Man again, after all.
[info]iceblonde: We're pros at this.
[info]the_deathofme: *sighs* That much is true. I wouldn't announce that to everyone, though.
[info]iceblonde: To everyone else, I'm a blushing bride.
[info]the_deathofme: To everyone else, you're a teenager who looks like a model.
[info]iceblonde: *a Look* It'll be a NIGHT wedding, of course.
[info]the_deathofme: Of *course*. Don't give me that look, Rose. You want me to tell Emmett what you've been thinking about the past few days?
[info]iceblonde: Not if you expect to survive this little sidetrip through Oz.
[info]the_deathofme: I just blackmailed you and now you're doing it back to me?
[info]iceblonde: Expect something different?
[info]the_deathofme: No. I can READ YOUR MIND.
[info]iceblonde: I don't know what you think you'll be telling Emmett.
[info]the_deathofme: That you've decided to invite the entire town instead of keeping it a quiet family wedding this time around?
[info]iceblonde: One? That's not a secret. And Two? ... don't tell.
[info]the_deathofme: And how will you stop me? You know he's my favorite brother.
[info]iceblonde: He won't mind.
[info]the_deathofme: Because he worships you?
[info]iceblonde: That's a strong word.
[info]the_deathofme: He's a strong man. You're a strong woman. I don't see the need to mince words about either of you.
[info]iceblonde: VERY strong man.
[info]the_deathofme: Are you suggesting that you would have my brother fight me over something as trivial as the five hundred extra bouquets you ordered?
[info]iceblonde: FOUR.
[info]the_deathofme: Of course. Four.
[info]iceblonde: And I'd never suggest that you fight. I'd distract him first.
[info]the_deathofme: Sadly, that's not too hard to do.
[info]iceblonde: Which was my point.
[info]the_deathofme: You won't let me win this one, will you?
[info]iceblonde: *SMILE* Did you think you would?
[info]the_deathofme: It's been a few decades since I have. I was hoping you would be kind once.
[info]iceblonde: Not where I could POSSIBLY get in trouble.
[info]the_deathofme: Ah, so you admit that my little blackmail scheme wasn't such a bad idea, then? *evil grin*
[info]iceblonde: In general? No. For me? Yes.
[info]the_deathofme: Excellent. Then I'll take this as a "win" for me and leave you to your planning. Unless you want me to tell Carlisle that you also changed his outfit...?
[info]iceblonde: Don't you dare.
[info]the_deathofme: *smiles*

August 5th, 2008

Ten People Who Always Rescue You

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1. Carlisle Cullen
2. Esme Cullen
3. Alice Cullen
4. Jasper Hale
5. Emmett Cullen
6. Rosalie Hale
7. Myself
8. Edward Masen, when he was alive
9. Elizabeth Masen, when she was alive
10. Lauren Santini, even if she does not realize it yet

Edward Cullen

August 4th, 2008

[OOC] Request from the Mun

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To everyone Edward plays and interacts with: I, the mun, have not yet read Breaking Dawn and will not be getting to read it for a while, so I would very much appreciate it if you would please PLEASE not spoil me on the story. Thank you.

July 28th, 2008

A list of reasons you're holding back

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1. I could kill her.
2. She could kill me.
3. I don't deserve anyone, especially not her.
4. I'm uncertain that my control is as good as I've claimed.
5. I've just met her.
6. She's human.
7. I'm not.

Edward Cullen
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